Day 17: The Poison of Complacency

"Complacency's a poison

Taken one drop at a time

Fools our hearts in thinking

That every thing's just fine"

Complacency:  A feeling of quiet pleasure or security, often while unaware of some potential danger, defect or the like. 


You know how if you haven't seen someone for months or years and the have either gained or lost a bunch of weight? To you, the change is instantaneous but to them and usually those around them, the change is gradual... This is the perfect example of complacency. Sometimes we "don't know" (or at the very least, it is easier to "pretend" we don't know) that we are changing if it happens gradually. Sometimes on a physical level, sometimes mental/spiritual/emotional levels. Here's the thing. You can't change one thing without it affecting everything around it on some level. If you are complacent about your health, chances are it has already bled over into other areas of your life.

Take being a parent for example, you want to be a good Mom... You love you kids, but your health is in such poor shape that you just don't have the energy to stand your ground with them so you give in to them a lot more than you should and before you know it, your children are starting to feel out of control. So now your kids are starting to be affected by it too. Or your house is always messy because you are too tired to clean it, it is now affecting your home life.  Or you love your husband but you're either too tired or too insecure to make love...  and since intimacy is one of the strong foundations for a great marriage, your marriage is being affected by it too... Starting to get the picture?

Please trust me when I say I KNOW that if you are like me, that exhaustion is genuine, the thing is... It doesn't make it OK.   I hope like me, you are starting to see that it's not just "your" health because it affects those around you.  And with that knowledge comes those two words that I am having a love hate relationship with... Choice and Responsibility.  Are you going to do something with that knowledge or continue with your head stuck in the sand.  I know for me... until my tush is a lot smaller... that is the LAST thing I want sticking up in the air for the world to see.  :P

"For the simple are killed by their turning away, and the complacency of fools destroys them;"

Proverbs 1:32

I don't know about you... but OUCH! I certainly don't want to be considered a fool and I certainly don't want it to affect the people I love!!  Now, this absolutely does not apply only to people who are dealing with weight issues.  There are many areas and ways that we can be complacent in our lives, the key is to be AWARE and AVOID them. 

Thursday Challenge:  List in comments  below (or you can email me)one thing you are complacent about that you would like to change. 

Day 16: The Skinny Stall!!!

I didn't realize how much -20 lbs can make a difference!!!  Maybe it's 30% weight loss, 30% Confidence and 20% Spirit of Adventure...   I am learning to not only claim but enjoy the small victories in life. 
Now my dear readers there are some of you who will understand this and some of you that will scratch your head and say: "Huh"?  First off let me start by saying that  that I am learning that some of those victories may be more transparent (and just a tad bit embarrassing) than others. Sooooo here goes:

The most recent thing I discovered is that I can comfortably use the small stalls in the ladies restroom.  Now this is a big deal for two reasons.

1. I don't know why... (perhaps one of you can enlighten me) but you skinny girls always "# 2" (sorry about that) in the big bathroom... so if you really have to use the restroom and are not comfortable in the smaller stalls you end up doing a very entertaining pee pee dance.
2. There is usually only 1 to 2 bigger stalls so if there is a line, forget it (unless you want to make it "obvious"..)

Yes I am doing the Snoopy dance right now!!  (Feel Free to Join me!!)    :)

Like I said,  some of you may not understand this... but trust me when I say this is a BIG DEAL!  (How's that for keeping it real?)  To best describe this feeling I give you this:

The water was as clear as anything and I thought if I could get in there and bathe it would ease the pain... but the lion told me I must undress first. I was going to say that I couldn't because I hadn't any clothes on when suddenly I thought that dragons are snaky sort of things and snakes shed their skin...

So I started scratching myself and my scales began to come off all over the place... 

But just as I was going to put my feet into the water I looked down and saw that they were all hard and rough and wrinkled and scaly still. Oh, that's all right said I, it only means I have another smaller suit underneath. So I scratched and tore again and this under skin peeled off beautifully. I left it lying beside the other one and headed down to the water...

Well exactly the same thing happened again. So I scratched away for a third time and got off a third skin, just like the two others, and stepped out of it. But as soon as I looked at myself in the water I knew it had been no good.

Then the lion said - but I don't know if it spoke - 'You will just have to let me undress you'. I was afraid of it's claws but I can tell you I was pretty desperate. The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the please of feel the stuff peel away.... And then suddenly, there I was, just me...

Excerpt from:  'The Voyage of the Dawn Treader' C.S.Lewis

This is me... and how I feel!!  At times I certainly feel like I am being "pulled" at in all directions but it's not a bad feeling, it's the feeling of change and FREEDOM.  The old layers of myself are being shed and there is a brand new me inside.  I can't wait to see her when she finally arrives!!  And I am learning that the more the inside begins to change, the more the outside wants to follow. 

 "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me."

Psalm 51:10

Change is always on the horizon!!!  Be ready and willing to let it take you where God wants you next!!

Day 9: Feed me Seymour... FEED ME!

So woke up this morning with Gracie being sick (it's near a holiday so of course she was)... trying to coordinate getting her into the Dr, still remembering to take care of me and make it into work at a decent hour was quite the challenge!!!  But I managed to get it all done and into work by 11AM

Sigh, it's days like this that I really just want to stop at the drive though and just "grab something"... and my mind immediately begins to rationalize "taking the easy way out".  It's funny how you think you're going along doing just fine that and then out of nowhere the old you rears it's ugly head demanding attention.  Let's just say it was definitely a 'Little Shop of Horrors' "Feed me Seymour... FEED ME!" moment.  And you know something?  I really really wanted to give in, but needed to make a choice; that is the old me, the old pattern, the old excuses. Here's one for you: "If you had any idea how busy my life is, you would understand why I can't take the time to eat/cook healthy" or "I forget breakfast... it's not my fault" or my favorite: "I've tried everything and nothing works for me". 

Navigating between the tempting 'Land of Excues' and the tedious 'Land of Responsibility' is truly a delicate balancing act of patience, conscious choice making and lots of leaning on His strength.  Now I know I talk quite a bit about choices - partly because I need that constant reinforcement and partly because I can't stress enough how important they are!!  How simple it would've been for me to take the "easy road" and "start again tomorrow"... but for me?  Tomorrow never seemed to quite make it to my doorstep and I continued down the path of unhealthy.  YIKES!!! 

In Job 34:4 I discovered that it says: "Let us choose what is right; let us know among ourselves what is good"  Oh how much this carries across in all parts of our life and how it can affect our physical/spiritual/emotional/mental good being as well.   I am not saying that the way I am doing this will work for everyone (now, none of you use this as an excuse...); what I am saying is to FIND what WORKS for YOU and stick with it!!  :)

Choose Today!!  You're life is waiting!!