Day 13: The Whale of the Plate and the Shrimpy Shrimp

(Update at the bottom!)

Yesterday our amazing director took us to lunch at Red Lobster as a thank you for quarter end. I had two simultaneously had two reactions.

1. There is no way I can go

2. I don't want to offend anyone... So maybe it's ok to cheat a little just this once.

Wait!!! What? Did I really start to give in that easy? Why am I so willing to rationalize myself into a temporary pleasure?

Well, let's face it... I LOVE food and because I do, I thought that if I only ate one delicious meal a day, I would be just fine... Ummmm Scratch that idea... Trust me, IT DOESN'T WORK!! Now I know some of you are reading this and thinking "Duh"! But I really thought it would work.

So I had decided not to go and a dear friend sent me the menu highlighting a lovely little side salad with only 90 calories... So yay!! Off I went. I further discovered that I could get 3oz of shrimp on a skewer, grilled with no butters or oils!! Yes!!

So they bring out my shrimp with everyone else's food and it was pretty hilarious to see this giant plate with this little tiny shrimp skewer on it.  I was affectionately teased as I cut it up into tiny pieces and tried to make it last as long as everyone else.  I had fun and loved spending time with my friends. Most importantly I discovered that I can actually eat out and still be healthy if I am willing to do two things:

1. Use that AWESOME nutrition information on the menu!!!

2.  Not be afraid to ask!

My kids always say that is never EVER hurts to ask... how true this is in all our lives.

If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.

John 14: 14

So ask away and see what happens!!

UPDATE!!

Give me that drum roll!!!!

 

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8.8 POUNDS!!!

Total weight loss... 21 pounds!!!

Day 12: Snakes and True Friends

So yesterday my workout buddy and I took it outdoors to hit the hiking trails (sort of). It was hot so we were guaranteed to work up a good sweat. We walked ALL the way over to the trail to be stopped dead (ulp!) in our tracks. Before was this huge sign that said (yep you guessed it) Beware of SNAKES! Yikes!


My workout bud was more willing to brave snakes then I was.. And her logic was flawless:

Me: "No way I am outrunning snakes".

Her: "I don't have to outrun the snake, I just have to outrun you... But don't worry I'll bring back help".

Needless to say, our workout stuck to street path which was partly uphill so it still kicked my butt... :)

You see, It's her sense of humor and constant encouragement that keeps me going. She is a huge blessing in my life and I hope she knows this. Friendships should be mutually give and take... Not one person doing all the giving and the other all the taking. I am learning that in all areas of my life there needs to be balance. And a huge part of a healthy body is a healthy mind and spirit. So I have begun weeding exhausting and negative relationships from my life. As a friend put it: "It won't be fun and it won't be easy but at the end... It will be worth it"!

Proverbs 15: 17 says: "Better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a fattened ox and hatred with it."

So I am selecting my dinner with herbs (a few close true friends) rather than with fat (a ton of unhealthy relationships) that are destructive.

I wholly encourage that you spend time in prayer to examine your life. Do you need to weed people out of your life? Or do you need to change before someone weeds you out of their lives.
Be willing to be honest with yourself because that is where true change takes place!!

Be blessed!!

Day 11: Life Lessons from a Grapefruit & Family Arguments

So, how transparent am I willing to be?  That's the real question here.  Do I just keep this about losing weight and lifestyle changes or do I include the hiccups that present me with challenges?  Well if I really want to change and I really want to make this permanent.  Then I need to be very real.  Soooooo...

On an emotional level, today was NOT a good day.  And I had to make a conscious, calculated choice to not run to food for comfort.  Until I committed myself to this... I hadn't even recognized that as a pattern in my life.  That I wanted needed something to make me feel better in the moment... that it was easier than dealing with the actual issues that are going on in my life.  That food could make me feel better and fulfill what I felt like was missing. 

To make a long story short I had a pretty major argument with my son to the point of him raising his voice at me and when I asked him not to; then he said something that really hit and hurt me. He said: "Mom, you care so much about people thinking we are the "perfect" family."  Do I?  Immediately I wanted to deny it... but at some level don't we all?  So I had to really ask myself...  Am I pursuing the "picture of perfection" or genuine perfection?  Because if I am after the picture instead of the genuine article I am doing more damage than good to myself and my family.  So here it is... I have great teenagers but sometimes... sometimes the only thing keeping them alive is that Jesus never said I was supposed to have a prison ministry.  Sometimes, I feel so overwhelmed that I want to hide under the covers and cry... But maybe... just maybe this doesn't make me weak... it just makes me human.

The best way for me to explain this is: Gracie was trying to help Mom out and packed my lunch this morning and the cut the grapefruit in the wrong direction (Yes... it's that darn grapefruit again).  And as I was eating it I realized something... The good fruit is still inside, I just had to work harder to get at it.  Wow... so much like life.  The good in our life is right inside us... but sometimes, we just have to work harder to find it.  To peel back the layers of the old us to find the new us hiding inside.  And we need to realize that the good inside is a little bit fragile and that we need to nurture it and love it for it to grow stronger.  And we are not doing this alone!!  I know that I need to rely less on myself and more on Him. 

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

I am holding on to this and pray that you do too!  :)

Day 10: Smore’s, Cupcakes, Cowboy Coffee, Fireworks and VICTORY!

Independence day!!!  Celebrate Freedom Day!!  Go America!!! 

10 DAY MILE MARKER DAY!!!!!! Go ME!!! 

I am learning that I don't just need to surround myself with amazing people (which helps soooo much!!), but that I also need to be my OWN cheerleader as well.  So while I am sharing challenges, today we are celebrating VICTORIES!!!  :)

Today was an AMAZING Day!!  I rocked it - I made Cowboy Coffee for friends and family and wasn't tempted at all (It's pretty amazing trust me) and made smore's and wasn't temped at all!!!! (ok, maybe just a teensie bit).  All and all it was a fantastic day!  :)

So I will share a favorite cheerleader story:  You know sometimes people cook/bake and bring it with and it looks amazing and then they offer it to you... you say it looks amazing but you are really working hard at making healthy choices.  They get offended and say:  "Just take a little" or "You can behave tomorrow" and you feel so guilty that you end up eating it and then feel like a failure?  (BTW, if this is you... STOP DOING this and please be considerate of other people who are trying so hard!!)  So this is my story:

My friend Alicia brought these amazing 'firework' cupcakes and they looked soooo good.  Everyone is grabbing one and she offers one to me (I hadn't told her yet about what I am doing):

Me:  "Thanks so much but I am making life choice changes for my health and am going to have to say no."

Alicia:  "You go girl!!!!"  High fives me and give me her amazing smile... In that moment, she had such a deep impact on my day and I don't even know if she realizes it.  She was a good portion of why my day went so great.  That single moment gave me the freedom to say no. 

John 8:36 puts it so simply "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed" I am not just talking about the freedom of salvation but the freedom to live your life to the fullest!!  Freedom to MAKE CHOICES...  Freedom to be FREE

Day 9: Feed me Seymour... FEED ME!

So woke up this morning with Gracie being sick (it's near a holiday so of course she was)... trying to coordinate getting her into the Dr, still remembering to take care of me and make it into work at a decent hour was quite the challenge!!!  But I managed to get it all done and into work by 11AM

Sigh, it's days like this that I really just want to stop at the drive though and just "grab something"... and my mind immediately begins to rationalize "taking the easy way out".  It's funny how you think you're going along doing just fine that and then out of nowhere the old you rears it's ugly head demanding attention.  Let's just say it was definitely a 'Little Shop of Horrors' "Feed me Seymour... FEED ME!" moment.  And you know something?  I really really wanted to give in, but needed to make a choice; that is the old me, the old pattern, the old excuses. Here's one for you: "If you had any idea how busy my life is, you would understand why I can't take the time to eat/cook healthy" or "I forget breakfast... it's not my fault" or my favorite: "I've tried everything and nothing works for me". 

Navigating between the tempting 'Land of Excues' and the tedious 'Land of Responsibility' is truly a delicate balancing act of patience, conscious choice making and lots of leaning on His strength.  Now I know I talk quite a bit about choices - partly because I need that constant reinforcement and partly because I can't stress enough how important they are!!  How simple it would've been for me to take the "easy road" and "start again tomorrow"... but for me?  Tomorrow never seemed to quite make it to my doorstep and I continued down the path of unhealthy.  YIKES!!! 

In Job 34:4 I discovered that it says: "Let us choose what is right; let us know among ourselves what is good"  Oh how much this carries across in all parts of our life and how it can affect our physical/spiritual/emotional/mental good being as well.   I am not saying that the way I am doing this will work for everyone (now, none of you use this as an excuse...); what I am saying is to FIND what WORKS for YOU and stick with it!!  :)

Choose Today!!  You're life is waiting!!

Day 8: The treadmill from hell

I have been doing pretty good on walking consistently and doing my steps so I am advancing to using actual equipment.  There it stood in the corner... quietly waiting for its next victim beckoning for someone to use it and looking so darn innocent with it's "I just want to help" docileness.... The Treadmill (Cue scary music)... All you have to do is get on and walk... right?  Wrong!  First off, the darn thing had more buttons than my ipod! Seriously not kidding here; quick start, start, program, random, heart rate... etc... Goodness!  Let's see, start seems safe enough... whew!  (5 minutes later I am really gaining confidence) - Let's see what the random button does *Push

Moving along at a brisker pace, I can handle this... easy peasy.  Then about 5 minutes later...  all of the sudden... with NO WARNING... BAM!   Remember that whole feeling like going uphill in the snow thing... well this was going uphill in an flaming inferno!  OMG  Really?!?!?  Someone help!  The little engine that could is about to blow a gasket!  (Ironic side note:  Gloria Gaynor's 'I Will Survive' starts playing on my ipod)  Manual... where's the Manual button?  WHERE'S the *&$# MANUAL BUTTON?!? There!  There is it... reach for it... reach... *push... sigh... OK let's set this baby at an easy steady pace...  3.5 seems safe enough.  Finished up... SURVIVED! (Take that Gloria!)

Whimper limped back to the locker rooms, trying to appear like everything's normal for my workout buddy (Thank God she was 3 machines away with ear buds on!). I then, spent a good portion of the night RESEARCHING treadmills and how they work, repenting for almost cursing out an inanimate object,  icing my aching back and nursing my wounded pride... Go me! 

How much of that is like our spiritual lives?  Seriously... (side note:  I didn't plan for this to be anything other than a "you go girl get skinny" blog - so blame the Big Guy upstairs not me)  We don't pray, we don't read our Bible or go to Church and then when we get in trouble we expect to push the "random" button and then don't like the results!!  That is why life should be lived on manual... where we are making conscious choices and not just drifting though.  I want to be just as spiritually fit as I am striving to be physically!

Issiah 40:31 seems to fit both situations!

But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run (yes even on the treadmill) and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

Day 7: The Bitter Taste of Greed

So I got this brilliant idea... Every morning around 9AM I am allowed to eat a half of a grapefruit; so my, what seemed to be a bright, idea was to peel the grapefruit like an orange and eat it like one so that way I am getting more food!!  Yeah... No.  Have you ever tasted how bitter the skin of a grapefruit is?  Seriously... YUCK!  It was like mixing stomach acid with fruit, and was totally gross!!!  My greed got the better of me for sure!!  I plan on sticking to just eating it the good old fashioned way with a spoon and leaving the bitter where it belongs which is NOT IN MY MOUTH!

I don't know if anyone else feels this way but I can say, for me personally, in life I sometimes almost always want more than is good for me.  Kinda how I ended up on this journey in the first place.  More more more more... is the manta I am working so hard at changing.  So how about this?  Less is MORE!  less poor choices, less making excuses, less procrastination, less beating myself up = More Energy, More Living & Loving Life, More Self-Confidence, More Smoking Smoldering Looks from Hubby (Can I get a "go there girl!").... that's the kind of more I want and am working to be addicted to!!! 

Let's make this clear, wanting to change and changing are two distinctly different things.  You have to put action on that "want" emotion to make it effective and in a world of instant gratification (again, how we ended up here in the first place) where we all want an instant fix, a quick way to get out of the messes we've gotten ourselves into; we give up way to easily.  Oh, did I say that out loud?  Sorry about that, but come on... admit with me, because deep down we know it's true.  And let me tell you, getting this way was a lot easier (and I won't lie... tastier) then it will be to get back to the old me.

That is how so much of life is.  A single night where a spouse decides to cheat can destroy a lifetime of marriage or a teenager making the decision to try that "drug" and they end up dead, or that single moment when someone decides to drive drunk and someone loses an innocent family member forever.  Life is filled with moments and those moments are filled with choices.  Do you reach for the bagel smothered in schmeer?  Or do you choose to eat an apple instead?  It's those solitary moments in life that define our futures. 

John 10:10 says that: ^"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly".  (ESV)

 I want, no I need  life more abundant... I want to have the energy to do all the things I am passionate about without feeling exhausted for days afterwards... I want to walk up a flight of stairs and not feel like it is a marathon!  I want to be me again... so I am taking another step.