40 days (Week 1) - Part 2 - Here we go again!

So after 3 weeks of maintaining I am back on the next set of 40 days... Take a deep breath cause HERE WE GO AGAIN!!  :)  I have decided to make this a once a week blog for now - I may go back to daily and I will let you know if I decide to do so :)

Week one:  Went well... I am finding that I actually do very well under structure (Gasp!!  Me?  Creative, Free Spirit me?... well it's true) and that every day this is easier than I expected.  To date - I have lost 53 lbs and am starting to finally remember not just who I am, but the woman I want to be...

Oh I still have my bad days and I still have moments when I am feeling great and a single moment can send me crashing to the floor - but for the first time in a long time - I am not giving up!! 

You really have to understand - that this is not my nature - to keep pushing through, expecially when it is a personal goal.  Usually, well usually I just give up and walk away.  But I am learning that I am not the only one and that life is like that... At some point in the along the way, we get to a part where we hit a wall and want to give up. The real tragedy is that sometimes... somtimes we give up before we even start; And then other times we give up just before we are about to make that HUGE break-through that we have been trying so hard to obtain... Now I could barrage you with a huge list of reasons to never give up but let me tell you the single reason that change my life:

The # 1 Reason to never give up: 

You are unique and special

You feel discouraged and be tempted to walk away from your dreams, your goals, your job, your family, your marriage, etc. You may even have convincing reasons why you should give up. But honestly, do you have any idea just how special you are? Whether you realize it or not, you are the only you there will ever be.  That is exactly why you are so special.  Think about the last time you just focused on how special you are, because I promise you, if you focus long enough,  you will have no reason to give up on your dreams, your goals, youself. The talents, skills, determination is what sets you apart and makes you the person you are.  Would you expect the people you love around you to just give up?  No you would encourage them to try just a little bit harder - to keep going.  So encourage yourself. 



And remember - It's not over til the Fat Lady sings

Be Blessed!!

Day 35: Blech

 I woke up at 5:30 AM this morning because something DID NOT agree with my tummy!!  Let me just tell you in advance that when you are living on only 500 calories a day, not keeping it down is NOT NOT NOT fun!  This was probably my most challenging day because I usually rely on sprite or something like that when I am not feeling well.  So here I am... miserable, whiny and a bit pathetic.  Okay, a lot pathetic.

  

So to be honest - I don't have a whole lot of anything to write because I spent most of the day either with my head under the covers or on the couch resting so I will see you again tomorrow my dear readers. 

Day 22: Promises and Posibilities

There is this song that I remember from when I was a kid... it goes:

"I am a promise
I am a possiblity
I am a great big bundle of
Potentiality"

I woke up this morning with this in my head... wow!  Do you remember being a kid and thinking just about anything was possible... Recently, my 18 year old told me he has all these dreams and begin to lay them our for me. Intially I want to tell him to slow down because there is NO WAY he can do them all but really, how do I know that?  I am not him and I don't ever want to be that parent that crushes the hopes and dreams budding inside him.  Soooo this begs the question... If I am so great at encouraging him... why not myself, why not my friends? 

So here I am at day 22:  Update - I still see dancing food on ocasion but they are more like a mirage vs a personal lap dance.  I still get frustrated, I still want chocolate (but not as much as I thought I would) and I still have days when I just want to give it up, go back to the old ways and not fight but they are fewer than when I started.  I still believe in what I am doing, I still want a new me and I still keep pushing forward and those days are more frequent... so I am starting to see (as every so slight as it may be...) a shift in my thinking.  And that my friends is progress..



Currently I am doing the ever so EVIL beach body workout, steps, Dance your way to health and the BL workout (Hey I need variety!!); Thursday I start ZUMBA (even the name terrifies me) - I will let you know how that goes.  But I know this; that we (YOU AND ME) are worth it!!  :)   We are full of potential, promise and possibility!!!  Grab for it and don't give up!! 

I can't promise miracles, quick fixes or an easy way out... but I will promise you a pretty darn good cheerlaeader/encourager if you decide you need one... Put it this way:

I am no prince
I am no saint
I am not anyone's wildest dreams
but I will stand behind
and be someone to fall back on

'Someone to Fall Back On' Aly Michalka

What are you waiting for???

Tuesday's Challenge:  Encourage someone today! 





Day 21: Fake it till you Make it

Crash!  Boom! Thwack! ERGH!  help... These are coming noises in the battle of the bulge - Some I can't wait to be gone for good!!

Crash! (Trying to squeeze my tush between two shelves and knocking something over)
Boom! (Falling on my tush when doing aerobics *Pretty sure the neighbors thought it was an earthquake)
Thwack! (Hitting myself in the face with the thera-band... OUCH)
ERGH!  (Pushing though, pushing through, pushing... passing out)

Oh if only it were this simple:

But it's not... The reality is that it takes HARD WORK (YIKES!)  It's kinda like expecting to breathe without oxygen.  It's not going to work very well...  So yesterday - I DID NOT want to work out... so I didn't...  And I actually woke up more sore than I have in a while (lesson learned) - Trust me I am not (and most likely will never be) the next triathlete, but I will be true to me.  And sometimes when you are fighting for something it means you are fighting against yourself.  That little rebellious brat that hides inside of us just waiting to rear its stubborn head.  So this morning I had to give it a good talking too:

Me:  "Ok, we're on Day 21 - Yesterday was not a day to give up."

Brat: "I don't care, I hate exercise and I MISS CHOCOLATE!!!"

Me: "I miss chocolate too but I miss me more... so let's get back on track"

Brat: "You can't make me... I will do what I want - who cares anyway"

Me:  "There are a lot of people care but even if it was just me... that's enough... so get up and get to it"

Brat: "Fine but I don't have to like it!!!"

And that just about sums it up... I don't have to like it... I just have to do it.  I hate taking vitamins but they are an important part of my health so I take them anyway... there are some days (keeping it real) that I may not like work very much, but I like and NEED my paycheck so I come in and give my best.  And I am learning... trust me... I am learning that the more I apply myself, the more I do it with a smile in spite of the situation, the more the rest of me falls into line like it should.  So yes, sometimes,

I FAKE IT TIL I MAKE IT. 

Until my dreams line up with my reality... I will not give up!!!  So let's go!! Let's Step!  Let's move!!!  Let's Live!!!

“I am fearfully and wonderfully made by God.”

Psalm 139:14

So right now I am focusing on the wonderfully and 86ing the fearfully  ;)  No, seriously, each of us are amazing if we just open our eyes and look... See us for who we are... Love us for how He made us. 

MONDAY BLUES CHALLENGE:  Comment Below (Or email me) 1 Amazing thing you like about yourself... Can't wait to see what you have to say!!! 

Day 20: Monsters & Skeletons and Crap... OH MY!

(Update Below)

There comes a time in our lives when we have to make decisions and stick with them.... to let the past be exactly what it is (YOUR PAST) and let your future be something bright, fresh and new.  We think we are doing just that when a snafu comes along and hits a square in the face.... *SMACK* What?  Where did that come from??  This is not how I planned it!!!  This is NOT the way it is supposed to be!!!!  And your stunned like someone thew a jellyfish upside your head. 

Yesterday was an "I want chocolate, junk food and ice cream!!  Give it to me NOW!!" sort of day.  I really really really (did I mention really?) wanted to give up, throw in the towel, have myself a pity party and hide under the bed.  I know that I am not the only one that sometimes feels this way. Feeling this way is one thing... Choosing NOT to act on those feelings is harder than you think but more worth it than you know!!

Why do we get this way? Sometimes it is bad news, sometimes it's because something didn't go right with your kids, sometimes it's your health and sometimes?  It's your own hard-nosed stubbornness.  So what do you do?  I know!!!  You run as fast as you can and hide under the bed!!!  Wait!  Isn't that where the MONSTERS hide??  Well that isn't very safe!  So you run and hide in your closet... Oh Snap!!!  That's where the SKELETONS are!!!!  I know!!  Lock yourself in the bathroom!!  Crap!!  That's where the... well the... CRAP is.  THIS IS NOT working!!! 

For years I hated my middle name... there was nothing anyone could do to convince me it was anything special and it sounded so country that it made me crazy!!  LOUANN -  My brother's further escalated it to calling me "Christy Lou"  Which made me CRAZY!!  Then I learned what my name meant in Hebrew:'Graceful Battle Maiden'  How freaking cool is that?!?!?!  I am a graceful battle maiden!  (Picture 'Brave'... yep, that's me!!)

So maybe... just maybe it's time for me to stand and face them... EVERYTHING that is coming at me.  Stop hiding from it, stop running from it and STAND!!!  Pick up my sword and fight!!!

"Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”
                                                                                                                                   Deuteronomy 31: 6

So Stand!  Endure!!  Press on!!  Be Brave!!  And never give up!!
 

Update:  Drum Roll Please!!

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0  Yes you are seeing that correct.  I lost No Weight this week... 

Gasp!  Groan!!  What???  Yes dear readers now you understand why today was a really trying day.  I felt like: "What am I doing this for?"  But do not despair!!!  In spite of losing no actual weight, my doctor was very excited because I lost 2" and converted 5 lbs of fat to "lean" (love that word) muscle.  I am going to be very transparent and say that I almost counted that conversion as actual weight loss... I mean how do you do this and "not" lose???  But I want to be real... I want to be me, I want to be free!!!

Love ya all!!!

Day 19: Let it go

Yesterday my blog was a little bit whiny butt, a little bit "poor me" and a lot of truth.  Thank you for all the personal emails I received of encouragement and love.  I can't say how much I appreciate it!!  I was truly touched when one of my faithful readers (you know who you are) called this "our blog".  I can't tell you how much that meant to me... but I can promise you this... it meant so very much! 

It is so easy to allow things in life to get us down, to allow the things that people (or our own minds) say around us to affect our self image or worth... It is so easy to get into the habit of beating ourselves up over past mistakes that it makes us easy prey for the world around us. It is so easy to get into the habit of giving up... to begin to live a "Thanks for noticing me" Eeyore mentality. 

But guess what?  Eleanor Roosevelt put it this way:  "No one can make you feel inferior (including yourself) without your consent." so guess what??  Those things people say?  They don't define you or me... at best they only serve as a speed bump... NOT STOPPING us but only slowing you down for a minute or two; And as long as we let it go... they have NO POWER over us unless we give it power!!  So if we apply this concept in every area of our lives... how much farther will we travel on this journey of life!!!   

Brothers (and Sisters), I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,

Philippians 3:13

So ALWAYS remember this:

Once you let it go... YOU ARE FREE!!!