Day 6: 1...2...3...4...5...6...

Had to work this morning and my awesome work brought in bagels... YIKES  I stayed far far away... :)

P.S. (Big NEWS at the end)

I don't intend for this blog to be simply me whining about the food I couldn't have everyday so let's whine about exercise... Just kidding.

So I have a friend that is committing to working out with me Mon-Fri and I am very excited about that!!  Having a work-out buddy is better than the Rocky (or the Power Rangers) theme!!!  It is nice to not be walking this out alone!!!  I actually am pretty excited.  The biggest challenge will be walking into a gym full of people who look great and have them wonder why I am even there... I have the memory from when I had made the decision to change my life, and signed up for a 24 hour fitness membership and had the lady up front say under her breath that they had another WB (I found out two weeks later that meant WHY BOTHER and never went back).  

You know when someone suffers from anorexia, most people feel compassion but when someone is overweight, most people feel the need to mock or make fun of them, sometimes right to their face, sometimes behind their backs.  Why are we like that?  Why do we set this example for our children as well?  Obese people don't wake up one day and think:  "Gee I want to be fat!"  We don't decide that we like being made fun of, or that we think it's sexy.   We KNOW that we need to lose weight, we are fully aware of it because we avoid the mirror if it is at all possible. 

So let me tell you tell you two things:

If you are one of those blessed and or discipline people who looks amazing, treat others the same way you would like to be treated, with the same dignity and compassion that you would wish for should you find yourself in a similar situation and use it as an opportunity to love and encourage.  

"And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them." Luke 6:31 

If you are like me and walking this out or thinking about walking this out... YOU ARE WORTH FIGHTING for!  Don't be afraid to step into the water, sometimes the cold will shock you into changing your situation.  Know that you are not alone and that you are loved...

"We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; ⁹ persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;"

I hope you realize this means the enemy cannot beat you!! Just keep going!! How do you get from where you are to where you want to be? One step at a time!!!

2 Corinthians 4:8

BIG NEWS 

Today was my 1st weigh in and...


I am down...

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12 POUNDS!!!

Love you all!! :)

 

  

Day 5: Still Alive

Day 5 has arrived and I am still alive!!  Although I now consider vitamins a food group...  ;)  I am starting to find myself with more energy but still a little whiny (OK... Maybe not a little)   And then?  They brought in 'Wings and Things" at work today for lunch and it smelled amazing!  I will be very transparent and say that in that moment, life didn't feel very fair....  My family eats what they want, when they want (Although they are trying very hard not to do it around me) and Shaun and Matthew are sooooooooooo skinny!!  What?!?   Who decided that was fair?!?  Get me someone in charge please because I want my money back!  Sound familiar?  Remember how much we hate hearing our children whine?  And then we turn right around and do it to those around us but call it "stress"  "I'm stressed out" is our favorite excuse for bad behavior.  Hmmmmmm

Here's the thing, sometimes we get so busy focusing on the negative or feeling sorry for ourselves that we let the good go unnoticed. I fully confess that this is totally me!! For the last three days I wake up and think: "Here we go again..." So when the alarm went off this morning I was prepared for the same scenario:   But you know something?  It wasn't.  I realized something this morning; I hadn't been woken up with an acid reflux attack in 4 nights!  How did I miss this? This is actually a huge event in my life and I let it slip right by! 

Eph 6: 10 says: ^"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might."  Which tells me that when I am feeling weakest and I feel like this is to much for me... I just need to lean on His strength!  It is funny how we forget that... How we get so tied up in the midst of our storm that we forget to reach for the very life-jacket that will save our life.   

I will not lie or sugar coat and say that this is a walk in the park - it is more like walking up a steep hill in the snow (both ways) But I will tell you that I fully believe that it is worth it so I will NOT give up!

Day 4: The Baby Shower and the Beast

Today was a good day - I made a decided effort to redirect my frustration which mean taking a quick walk around the building rather than let old cravings tempt me... (Of course I did it in hells heels, so my tootsies were not thrilled *Mental note - bring a pair of sneakers to work!!)

Soooooo...  I had an event  (the baby shower) to attend tonight and it was the last place I wanted to be. Don't get me wrong... I love my dear friends and would LOVE to celebrate with them; but I knew there would be all sorts of DELICIOUS and AMAZING foods (the beast) that I couldn't eat and that I would have to explain "why" I wasn't (I know... Boo Hoo). Looking for encouragement I googled joy and was amazed at how many scriptures are connected to joy and FOOD!

Psalm 63:5
My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips (This DID NOT HELP)

And then I found: Proverbs 17:22
A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Wow!  What an eye opener for me!!  Making a choice - See I am choosing to change my life and just like I am making that choice - I can CHOOSE to do it with a good attitude! 

So armed with this revelation - off to the shower I went... And forgot my snack to boot. As I suspected, everything looked so good; but I could only have a snack, which ended up being 6 deliciously red cherry tomatoes (BTW, if you were there and didn't get tomatoes with your salad; I'm sorry... Sort of...)

But you know what?  I had a Great time!  Hanging out with Friends and Family was just the refresher I needed! Not to mention how entertaining it was to watch hubby trying to hide from me as he ate pizza, watermelon, cake, pie and who knows what else. He felt bad eating in front of me and didn't want to be a temptation for me so he kept trying to duck behind people which only made him a bit more obvious. :). But you know what?  I love him even more for that single moment.

Lesson Learned   (I hope)

Day 3 - The 180 at 15 MPH

So today started out really great - I woke up, the sun was shinning and the sky was full of fluffy white clouds, rainbows and sunshine... Well, It sounds good doesn't it?

Actually, today did in fact have a great begining... I only saw a few dancing donuts but since they were doing disco it was hardly a temptation at all. There I was breezing along until about 10:45ish, when BAM! I had a major technical snafu at work... With all the stress coming down on me, I instantly found myself craving some seriously sugared coffee (and those donuts were looking good in their bell bottoms too!)... really?  REALLY?

Then I got this memory (Gee I wonder who it was from...) about a friend of mine and how EVERY TIME we are in an elevator together if there is carpet or texture on the walls she has to run her fingers through it, write a message or otherwise mess it up fully knowing that my type A personality will try to fix it but always run out of time before we get to our destination.  I realized in that moment that has always been my mentality towards life too... I want a quick fix, I want to wake up tomorrow and look like Cindy Crawford, not Chrissy Cowford... I even tried to convince God when I was a teenager that if I woke up one morning and was suddenly 5'9" it would be considered a "miracle" and that I only wanted that to happen for His Glory  and had no personal gain or motivation at all... (Ummm Yeah)  But to really change, whether it is spiritual, physical or emotional, takes time, perseverance  and patience (Noooooo... not patience); and that sometimes in life the U-turn can't be in a few seconds but has to take time. 

In Romans 8:25 it says: ^"But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience".

So like my friend Jen likes to say:  "Wait for it... Wait for it"...

Waiting  :)

p.s. The sugared coffee didn't win and is off tempting someone else  :)

Day 1 - The Great Divide, Day 2: Groan!

The Great Divide, The Grand Canyon, Mission Impossible - the distance between who I am and who I want to be...

So let me recap day one:

5:45AMWoke up...
6:00AM No Coffee (Because this girl doesn't drink it black... yuck)
7:30AM Tea and Water for breakfast... (Seriously?)
9:00 AM Green Apple for snack (I almost ate the seeds too!!)
11:45AM Lunch (Finally!!) Romain Lettuce and chicken breast wraps (total of 6 oz... I am telling you.. Bugs bunny eats more than this!)
12:15PM 3 Walks around the building (I swear on that 3rd lap someone stretched the darn building out when I wasn't looking!!)
3:00 PM - Green Apple for snack (Those seeds are starting to look pretty good!)
6:30PM 1/2 tomatoe, 3 oz of Chicken and a light rye crisp cracker
7:00PM Step aerobics for 20 minutes (HELP!)
9:00PM One more cracker
10:00PM Passed out (Not sure yet whether it was from hunger or exhaustion)

This does not count all the excersice I am getting because I have to pee every 45 minutes due to all the mass quanties of water and UNSWEETENED tea I am drinking...

I whined, I fought hunger and it fought back, I made my very sweet husband crazy... but by the grace of God... I MADE IT!!!

Day 2: Groan

I remember someone once telling me that the first day is the hardest...  I would like to announce... that THEY LIED.

5:45AM:  Woke up... (PUSHED THE SNOOZE BUTTON)6:00AM:  Woke up...
6:10AM No Coffee (Becau...

Now I am not going to make you all read my days over and over again because the menu is pretty uninspiring... And I am still hungry and still a whiner (if you whine when your blogging does that count?)  As my friend Lauren likes to say: "Call Whine One One and get this girl a "Whambulance"! (please?)  Food that I don't even normally like looked good today. At one point I was sure that there was a dancing hamburger in front of me (did I mention that I don't normally eat hamburgers)... and I'll have you know... it was getting its groove on too.

I heard someone say recently that it's not until you are at the very bottom sucking carpet (wonder how that tastes... ) that you realize that you can't do life on your own... so I needed to remind myself that I am not doing this alone!!  That I have a great Creator who loves me and it clearly states in Jeremiah 29:11 that I have a hope and a purpose and that I am worth fighting for... So what I can tell you is that even though it felt harder... my determination feels a little more resolved than it did yesterday and if I have to put the theme from "Rocky" on repeat for the next 40 days... I will! 

prevail...

"Adrian.."

Fatquel

So I am one of "those" people - you know, the yo-yo overweighters who lose 25 pounds and gain back 30.  Cheerful, outgoing and fun to hang out with... but overweight.  The behind the scene's girl by both my own (and sometimes other's) choice. 

So I decided to finally focus, be real about my health and weight and get help... The first thing I get told by a friend is: "You have tried so many times and failed that I hate to see you disapointed so why bother trying"  BAM!  With a simple sentence I was ready to give up, walk away and continue to hide in the shadows... My life had become a picture of Proverbs 18:21 and I don't think people realize the power of the spoken word...  How it can build you up or tear you down in a matter of seconds.  As Francois-Marie Arouet aka Voltaire says: "With great power comes great responsibility" (Contrary to comic book folklore - Stan Lee did not coin this phrase).  Ask yourself, on a personal level what do you do with that responsibilty?  Do you build those around you up or you do rip them down? 

Well I have chosen that, in spite of how I felt in that moment, I am still going to try again... So if I am going to this, then I am going to be transparently real and anyone who chooses may follow along with me.  We will take the first 40 days and see what happens next.  You can come along and laugh with me, learn with me, cry with me and please feel to encourage me (CHEERLEADERS ARE ALWAYS WELCOME). 

Just remember - It's not over until the fat lady sings... Blogs