So a little bit of a rough day on an emotional level today. Proud to say that even though, I DID NOT want to... I stuck to my guns and didn't slip or fall off the health wagon. But it was a really tough choice to make today.
Do you remember grade school? Do you remember bullies? You know, the kids that feel the need to prove their superiority through meanness and/or force? And how sometimes, if a teacher wasn't near by, the playground could be a terrifying place? Do you ever wonder what happens to them when they grow up?
Perhaps they became those people you work with that always have something negative to say about someone else, or those people at church that always want to "share" (and it always seems that if it is especially vicious... they are sharing "in love"). Perhaps they are you. I think most women (much more than men) do this to each other at some level, and I truly wish I understood why. Sometimes we do it because we feel like we are "fighting back" and sometimes we are starting the fight ourselves. Then we justify it, and say it's something other than what it really is... Hurtful Vicious Gossip.
Yes I am fully aware that it was my own complacency that got me here in the first place. I am aware that change will not be easy and had I done it correct the first time - I would not be fighting my way back now. I know that I don't shop at the best stores... (but sometimes Wal-mart really is the only thing that fits into the budget). I am also aware that what you say to my face (or behind my back) shouldn't matter... but sometimes? For at least a little while... it does. Then I bounce back up like a Weeble Wobble and life is amazing again. (some of you are like: "Huh? A what??")
This is a Weeble - we weeble, we wobble but we DON'T fall down!! :)
If you are one of these people... Just Stop. Grow up, Please deal with your emotional wounds and allow youself to heal and move on with your life. I am truly sorry that something happened in your life that hurt you so deeply that to hide it and/or not deal with it you have to hurt the people around you, but that's not okay. If you just let it go, you will see that you have so much to offer to yourself and others. You know, as women, we should encourage each other, hold each other up and cheer each other on!! life is hard so why make it harder on ourselves and those around us. Just so you know, I would be foolish to think that I am immune or exempt from this myself so this is my new goal, to ask myself 4 questions before I open my mouth:
1. Is it edifying?
2. Is it encouraging?
3. Is it my business?
4. Is it true?
You'll notice, that in this rare case, truth is at the bottom, because if the truth is painful and it's not my business then, other than pray for that peron, I should leave it alone!!!
"Words kill, words give life; they're either poison or fruit—you choose."
Proverbs 18:21
So think about the words that you use and how you are using them BEFORE you use them.
Isn’t ironic how things are….as we become adults we ONLY know how to point finger and not realizing that those 3 are pointing back. It has been said that courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the ability to move ahead in spite of fear. I like that because it puts a very human face on courage, and brings it within grasp. Yes it will get harder and its challenges will continue to grow bigger and more complex. But when you are facing a new giant that needs to be slain and find yourself afraid or frustrated, remember that your courage has always been within with choices and decisions. It’s wonderful to know that the Lord sees us for whom we really are and what we really can be.
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