Day 30: Let the Countdown Begin

I am in the final stretch of my first 40 days... then 3 weeks off and my next 40 days.  I am a little scared about the three weeks because I will really have to make some conscious choices without the safe holds and guard rails.   In a way it almost feels like I moved out for the first time.  There is both excitement and nervousness.  My inner rebellious child keeps whispering treats into my ears and I want to make sure that she keeps her voice down. This is definitely going to be a balancing act on my part - finding that balance between healthy choices and tempting treats. 

I think that the biggest difference from when I started is that I KNOW this takes work, I KNOW this is a lifetime commitment but most importantly,  I KNOW this is possible.  The further into this journey I get, the less I want to turn around and go back the way I came.  Oh I know this is just the beginning.  This is not a quick walk around the block (WITHOUT stopping at the ice cream truck).  I also know that I had reached a point where I didn't even like me anymore.  I wanted to be anyone but me... AND right now today?  I think I pretty much rock.  :)

Let's be real... When you need to lose as much weight as I do... 30 pounds is nothing... but just wait until I hit 60!  Because it is GOING to happen!   I honestly can't tell you what I am more pleased about.  The actual weight loss or the fact that for a month now I have actually committed to this and stuck with it!! I honestly think it is the later.  I finally feel like I am gaining a foothold on the defeatist attitude that had smothered me for so long. Looking back now it was like being held under dark murky water with just a tiny measure of oxygen to sustain you. And you are taking the smallest amount of breath that you can to survive. Sometimes feeling dizzy and like the next breath you take will be your last. And then someone reaches out and pulls you out of the water and you take your first real breath in a long time. The sharp pain hits your lungs as you draw it in… but it is a good pain, a healing pain… and the pain reminds you that you are alive! 

"So if the Son set you free, you will be free indeed"

John 8:36

 Can you smell it?  Can you feel it?  Freedom is come... Reach for it